Books have kept me going in this hardest of jobs. I have found solace, insight, compassion and inspiration between the covers of the following friends:
But of course. I think I have read this 8 times now and it never fails to offer relevant, practical wisdom. It’s the most comprehensive roadmap for parenting I have seen.
Brimming with Laura Markham’s empathy and uberpractical tips, this book is the one I recommend to parents (especially those with young children) as a great companion to the P.E.T. text.
Huge game changer. I remember exactly where I was when I read this point from Mary Hartzell and Daniel Siegel: “It is important to recognize that each of us may have leftover issues that create vulnerabilities that don’t become apparent until we raise or work with children.” In the margin, I scribbled, “Why not let all new parents know this?!”
Early on, Tara Brach talks about being moved to tears when a fellow student she admired confided that she was trying to be her own best friend. Tara herself felt so far from that. She shares her deep and gentle path to self love and compassion for all.
Rachel Macy Stafford is the Southern me. Her honest revelations and heartfelt intentions trace her coming home to being the mother she always wanted to be.
I will keep this on my bedside table forevermore. I don’t want to make the past more important than the now, and the same goes for the future. Eckhart Tolle’s writing is no nonsense and brilliant.
Kristen Neff’s struggles with her autistic child and arguments with her husband are used skillfully to show how forgiving and being kind to ourselves is the way to go.
Debbie Ford has an image for our shadow side that really resonates with me. We were born as glorious mansions with rooms holding every emotion; over time, though, our sense of selves has been whittled down to a two bedroom ranch. By unlocking the rooms and welcoming those aspects of ourselves we have disowned, we can open to our wholeness.
Daniel Siegel, thank you for actual cartoons and visuals to use with my children. I needed these tools and the clear message that everyone’s brain can be changed, including mine!
By the time I read this, I already was partly awake to how I conveyed to my children that my love was conditional. Alfie Kohn skillfully describes those like me and offers another, more empathic way to parent.
I always wished I could meet Thomas Gordon and talk to him more about his brilliant paradigm and concepts. This out of print gem comes close! The stories and examples are such a welcome resource for my blog posts.
Websites, Apps & More...
Laura Markham has a powerful search engine and dozens of articles that give examples of what you can say to your children. She has audio and video as well -- sometimes you just need to see and hear it, right?
Brilliantly weds concepts with the camera; some of Avital’s videos star Dr. Laura Markham! We need this kind of modeling!!!
And you thought you were alone. Rachel Macy Stafford has created a huge community of parents striving to be compassionate to themselves so they can truly be there for their children. I often come away with wet eyes.
Tara Brach holds a special place in my heart. A good friend introduced me to her audio teaching talks which then led to an online mindfulness and relationships course with her.
Peruse this website for its excellent free articles and info on courses. Being in community with a certified instructor and other committed parents can help so much.
For a beginner meditator like me, Andy Puddicombe’s app has been just the thing. Once you experience the beginner pack, you are able to choose from a range of subjects. I chose Relationships and the sessions have included lovingkindness meditations on myself, people I love, people I barely know and people I feel triggered by. Very useful.
We regularly refer to this inventory in the course.
We use the second page: Feelings when your needs are not satisfied.
For when you want to brush up on all things P.E.T. or just want to check your understanding of a certain term, here they are in one spot!