catherine banson
Ugh, homework!

Homework can bring us to our knees — “Just, will you JUST, finish it ALREADY!?” It’s hard to like ourselves as we scream, judge, blame and compare when we’ve flipped our lid. And, once we’re calm, it’s difficult to let go of the guilt. It’s crazy making stuff that we want to be SO DONE with.

Ugh, homework!
stories
catherine banson
The Crystal-Hearted Princess (A Story for ...

Over the years, a number of parents have been concerned about their child’s hesitance to assert themselves. I wrote the tale below in 2014 with that (and a very special girl) in mind. I like to imagine living in a kingdom where our leader models assertive Confrontive I-Messages! Here’s how one such person came to be so wise.

The Crystal-Hearted Princess (A Story for Assertiveness)
teens/tweens
catherine banson
Digital Use: A Deep Dive into Attachment

Without a secure bond with a trusted, stable adult, kids are more prone to social media addiction. The nature of Internet communication leads to a digital intimacy that falls short of authentic, vulnerable relationships so they keep grasping for more approval and acceptance.


Digital Use: A Deep Dive into Attachment
catherine banson
When Only One Child Cooperates - Aaghh!

It's so easy to feel aggressive when we impute bad intentions to our kids -- e.g. He's deliberately NOT writing the invites to get a rise out of me. If we pause to contemplate the spins we put on kids' behaviors, we just might choose not to believe them.

When Only One Child Cooperates - Aaghh!
teens/tweens
catherine banson
Empathy in Action! How I Active Listened my 17 ...

He grinned down. I grinned up. Then, shaking my head in wonder, I went to my journal to record this remarkable conversation.

"Remarkable" because the old Catherine would not have known what to do. I probably would have peppered him with questions, "What's wrong? Well, have you tried approaching him again? Did you ask him why you you got that score? Have you gone over the rubric - maybe you missed something?"

Empathy in Action! How I Active Listened my 17 yo

power

A P.E.T. Take on the Short Film "Nobel Prize"

A P.E.T. Take on the Short Film "Nobel Prize"

Watching Tracey Larcombe's Nobel Prize, I cringed, not only as a certified instructor of Parent Effectiveness Training but also as a mother who recognized her former self in the ordering around and the go-go-go. I may never have been quite so harsh, but I have said my fair share of things I regret.

So rather than just lambaste the characters, I thought it might be more helpful to turn a P.E.T. eye onto the situation and imagine another set of interactions.

After all, most of us are familiar with what we DON'T want to be doing when it comes to our kids. The trouble is knowing what better options would look like.

Good for you! - C.U.E. #9

Good for you! - C.U.E. #9

Besides wanting to make peace, I had gone into Claudia's room as her cheerleader. 

You see, in my room I had reflected on whether I had ever openly defied my own mother and came up with not a single instance. 

No surprise there. I was always a very, very, very "good" girl.

My Sweet 16th Mothers' Day

My Sweet 16th Mothers' Day

So, it was not that surprising when, among the video footage, we came across an interview my husband did a few years ago but never shared with me. It was the day before my birthday and my husband was fishing for compliments on my behalf, asking Harrison: “What's great about Mommy, why do you love her?" 

 
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