catherine banson
Ugh, homework!

Homework can bring us to our knees — “Just, will you JUST, finish it ALREADY!?” It’s hard to like ourselves as we scream, judge, blame and compare when we’ve flipped our lid. And, once we’re calm, it’s difficult to let go of the guilt. It’s crazy making stuff that we want to be SO DONE with.

Ugh, homework!
stories
catherine banson
The Crystal-Hearted Princess (A Story for ...

Over the years, a number of parents have been concerned about their child’s hesitance to assert themselves. I wrote the tale below in 2014 with that (and a very special girl) in mind. I like to imagine living in a kingdom where our leader models assertive Confrontive I-Messages! Here’s how one such person came to be so wise.

The Crystal-Hearted Princess (A Story for Assertiveness)
teens/tweens
catherine banson
Digital Use: A Deep Dive into Attachment

Without a secure bond with a trusted, stable adult, kids are more prone to social media addiction. The nature of Internet communication leads to a digital intimacy that falls short of authentic, vulnerable relationships so they keep grasping for more approval and acceptance.


Digital Use: A Deep Dive into Attachment
catherine banson
When Only One Child Cooperates - Aaghh!

It's so easy to feel aggressive when we impute bad intentions to our kids -- e.g. He's deliberately NOT writing the invites to get a rise out of me. If we pause to contemplate the spins we put on kids' behaviors, we just might choose not to believe them.

When Only One Child Cooperates - Aaghh!
teens/tweens
catherine banson
Empathy in Action! How I Active Listened my 17 ...

He grinned down. I grinned up. Then, shaking my head in wonder, I went to my journal to record this remarkable conversation.

"Remarkable" because the old Catherine would not have known what to do. I probably would have peppered him with questions, "What's wrong? Well, have you tried approaching him again? Did you ask him why you you got that score? Have you gone over the rubric - maybe you missed something?"

Empathy in Action! How I Active Listened my 17 yo

silence

Bullying & the Behavior Window: The Bystander & Prevention, Part 3/3

Bullying & the Behavior Window: The Bystander & Prevention, Part 3/3

There is no doubt that bystanders play a key role, and many parents yearn to raise kids who are willing to intervene. 

The Behavior Window can help clarify ways to support our children in moving out of passivity and avoiding, to the extent possible, becoming bullies or one of the bullied themselves.

Three Days with a 3 YO

Three Days with a 3 YO

I went back in time recently to relive parenting a toddler. While my brother and sis-in-law were in Japan, I got to take care of my niece Emma.

Since Emma lives in the US, I see her only once a year. This was her first visit to my home in Hong Kong. The P.E.T. skills helped me to establish trust and mutuality and deal with those big toddler emotions. 

"It was historic!"

"It was historic!"

I love, love, love my job! I am invited for a while to have a front row seat at people's transformation.

With this participant's blessings -- I'll call her Flo -- I hereby share her story. Mind you, this happened a mere four sessions into the course!

My Freak-Out Over Internet Safety - C.U.E. #7

My Freak-Out Over Internet Safety - C.U.E. #7

Last week, when my 14 year old Jake interrupted me in the kitchen with, “Just have a look at what this person messaged me on Facebook," I let slip a golden opportunity to help him grow.

Why? Because I panicked.

Someone -- apparently she had ten friends in common with Jake -- had contacted him saying, after seeing photos, she wanted to book him for some modeling.

A P.E.T. Glossary

A P.E.T. Glossary

I just thought maybe it’s high time I put all the Behavior Window terms in one post, with some illustrations from our family’s recent past.

Here they are from the top down -- forget about alphabetical order, we are trying to imprint this precious roadmap onto our brains!!

 
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